5 stages of Grief/Loss

Hello viewer! Today I would like to share with you my experience of grief/loss. Last July my relationship with my ex-girlfriend ended, and since that event, grief has become part of me. during the whole experience of grief, I've jumped between these 4 stages for months and is just now that I am getting to the last stage.

The first stage was Denial, although it lasted a sort time I used to wake up in the morning and my first thought was that the breakup had been just a bad dream, for a few seconds my denial convinced me that "this" was not happening to me, and whenever I actually became aware of it I went to bed and during those hours my mind was at peace, but whenever I woke up I had certain feelings, the only way I can describe them is if you can imagine a knife stuck in your chest, is a heavy and sharp object in the middle of your chest, is really hard to breath.

Anger.
I am not a violent person yet I felt like I wanted to hurt somebody or something, my body became really hot and my brain will block any external signal, I couldn't hear, smell or feel anything, whenever I felt anger I would take my friend's bike and ride it for hours until I was exhausted.

Bargaining is another stage where I kept going on and off, the idea that I could do something to stop all these things seemed possible, "if i do this" "maybe if I say this" those were my thoughts, I had convinced my self that bargaining was an option, nevertheless I was wrong and when I finally realized that there was nothing to be said or done to get her back is when I arrived to the 4th stage.

Depression, sunk in my depression I lost  a lot of weight, I remember spending 1 or 2 days without eating anything, I did not wanted to go out or see my friends, I just wanted to sleep, it got to a point where I didn't want to draw or paint.

All these stages still live inside of me, I believe they can leave me but only if I can get to the last stage, because getting there means that I've learn from every and each stage, and so I'm ready to embrace Acceptance.

Every sketch means every stage, I had not being able to finish them because I could not visualize acceptance, but one day it came to me and so I was able to sketch it. I hope this help me and help you if you are going through a similar situation, we are not alone, this experience should not be personal, family and friends can help us to get to the last stage, but the decision of moving on is still up to us.

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance